In the words of Douglas Adams: “Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.”
It’s big, yeah. Too big to think about. I just sort of block it out. In fact, I don’t even remember the last time I went down to the chemist and thought about the journey. In my work, in my state, in my country, you often put space to the back of your mind. You have to when you drive 45 minutes to and from work every day, or when you have to drive five hours to the nearest major town, stopping off in good ol’ Crow’s Nest for a soft drink and a pie.
Space is too big. There’s too much of it to ever explore or to ever fully understand… and that’s what makes it beautiful.
What we can do (in fact, what many say we are meant to do) is explore the little bit of Cosmos we have. You know that solid bit underneath your feet? Yeah, that one. There’s a lot of cool junk on that thing; that thing that is spinning around the universe faster than a bullet and hurling us all about willy-nilly. Everything we’ve ever known, created, loved, hated, fought, killed, kissed, hugged, taken photos of, spat on, ate, wasted, painted, written about or even complained about is still all here, on this big hunk of metal, rock and gooey green stuff flying through the complete emptiness of THE ALL.
I’m writing this way before I leave on my exploration of that little patch of Cosmos. Dude, like, way too far ahead. It’s a month ’til I leave, roughly. A month ’til I leave behind my little bubble of comfort and head somewhere I’ve never been before and never thought I’d every actually go. Sure, I’d see it in postcards and thing “ooh, isn’t that pretty”, but I never thought I’d walk around, inside the images. I never thought I’d actually step into the postcards.
Basically, I’m going to Germany.
I’m still trying to figure out what that means. “So I’m actually going, yeah? I’m going to be leaving my home in the Hills of Adelaide, South Australia, and spending five months in Europe? No, you’re crazy. I’m not doing that… am I? No surely not, that’s crazy.” Yeah, I’m not afraid to admit I’m a bit of a worry-wart. I’m shy as all hell as well, and maybe a bit of an introvert, which is why I think it’s so interesting I’m heading out on this adventure in the first place. One day I’ll figure out why I’m going. One day I’ll wake up and realise, “This is why I’m here. This is what I need to do.”
What’s it going to be like for a shy guy in Europe? How can I change? How can I improve? How can I stay exactly the same? I remember reading a quote on one of those shitty desktop calendars at work about how “as we age we become more and more like ourselves, for better of for worse”, and I think that holds true. I imagine this trip will pretty rapidly age me, and I hope to like what comes out in the end.
And so that’s why I’m writing this blog. Firstly, to keep my fingers tapping away at something. Secondly, to document that long journey to find myself; to find my place in this weird gooey blue-green orb flying through space faster than a bullet.
Honestly, I am writing this for myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to enjoy it. I hope it maybe inspires you to take your own leaps of faith in to the big and scary unknown. Most of all I hope it keeps me relatively sane… or drives me to more interesting depths of insanity, from which I can get a little creative.
Here’s hoping then! Here’s to half a year of adventures, late-nights, new friends, early-nights, museums, castles, clubs, techno, opera, study, more study and maybe a bit of love? Nah, that’s too corny. I’ll just keep up the aloof Aquarius act and focus on my art. Maybe I’ll buy a big black scarf and walk around with a coffee all the time. I’ve got the skinny jeans to go with the outfit already.
Hopefully this blog will be updated semi-regularly with musings, writing, stories, pictures and maaaaaybe a bit of poetry. (Don’t expect much of that though.)
Captain James, signing out for the first time. Peace and lots of good vibrations to ya.